If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll
probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If
you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and
gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.
This can, in a related
way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to
grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.
What you may be
bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your
own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you
are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person
that could this thing that you’re attempting.
Or if you make some
headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself.
To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.
So you need give
yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the
approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let
go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.
I think these days we
always seeking the approval of others, feel the need to fit in to something in
order to feel a sense of belonging. Sometimes we even go out to seek a
successful personality and attempt to duplicate it. I mean always always
being yourself, expressing yourself and having faith in yourself is a hard
thing. We do it sometimes, but other times we forget or back into old thoughts
patterns.
But I believe that
being the real you will work better. Because there the genuine you is shining
through. Without incongruency, mixed mesisages or perhaps a sort of phoniness.
It’s you to 100%. It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice
tonality and body language which some say is over 90% of communication on
the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of
communication.
So I’m not saying:
“yeah man, you should just be yourself because it’s the right thing to do etc.”
I’m saying that I think being your authentic self the one that needs
little validation from others, the one where your ego is not running the show and
trying to get something from someone – will give more satisfaction in your day
to day life because you are in alignment with yourself. And because people
really like genuine and people really like authenticity.
“Age is an issue of
mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
So many limitations
are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove
because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter
when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about
what people may think.
And people pick up on
that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a
negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused
inward on yourself.
If you, on the other
hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you
don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self imposed
roadblock in your life.
It is, for instance,
seldom too late to do what you want to do.
“Twenty years from now
you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones
you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch
the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Jay Sean song 'Where
you are' is so good its addictive
One of the Janoskians is dating Ariana Grande, that guy
must of had smooth moves wooing a girl all the way from Australia haha
